Logan, The narcissist thinks that getting rid of your pet means your attention will now solely be on them. Woah. If my SO does not do something with the cat we are done! It was a very easy life to live with him and I loved him very much! Hes adamant that we will never own an indoor pet. Thank you for listening and understanding. When the relationship starts to go downhill, they cling to the dog more almost in a weird attempt at inducing jealousy. All our money is shared; the house is in his name, so are all the cars, and whenever I try to save some money aside in case I have to leave and take the dogs with me, he throws a tantrum and guilts me till I submit. For myself, as a child my family had dogs, cats, birds, fish, and even a turtle. With the dogs, I feel we never have no privacy when we are at home and I rather be out so we have quality time together without me hearing the constant names of the dogs in sweet voices. My boyfriends dog is the most needy piece of crap. How can your boyfriend of 3 years actually say go on the couch so his DOG can sleep next to you? I havent mentioned amy of this to him because i think it sounds petty. The same paws they use to trample on s*** and p*** are the same paws they walk all over your bed with. I was loving. How I cant stand his dog. Our fighting is bad parenting in front of the dogs and we cant continue like this. Its not a human being. Most of these problems come from women, judging by these posts, who overly love their pets and cant seem to compromise other than say if hes not a pet person we cant have a successful relationship. I believe women need to stop giving dogs human characteristics and treat them like an animal. I am told that I am being stubborn and I am having to deal with cleaning up pee and poo from places around the house and that I am causing more problems than the dog is. Like children, her Facebook feed is full of dog posts and her friends include a long list of other dog fanatics, each egging one another on to largely imaginary dangers and an ever-expanding requirement of expensive things dogs need. If your hubby cant understand that? (Not as in physically harming, I dont hit people, but as in literally just touching). I live in Germany, so sorry if my gramma isnt so good. But, it is still his dog and he is the one that gets to make that final decision, not you. I brought a cat into the relationship and she brought a French Bulldog. She made arrangements for her mother to take the dog when she came out to visit last week. Its becoming a problem I really hate this dog :-(. I love animals and would have more if I could but three is my limit for time and budget. My wife and I have disagreements about our dogs, but in the end its resolved because we have boundaries. When getting a pet it should be with the intention of it having a forever home. I use to say to those around me, Looks like Buffy decided to go to bed. Period! And as a non-dog lover, I cannot understate the extreme annoyance of having a highly energetic dog jumping all over me when I come in the door. I am discussed with them and cannot express my frustration without creating an issue. Because he wont allow it. Sounds like your partner is a narcissist, please join a narcissist support group on Facebook and check for yourself. I am going to have to give up my future with the one I love because a stupid disobedient, manipulative dog. Without going into details, his actions with his beloved pet almost broke me. I just cant grasp the thought process.. I dont know what to do anymore! Think about a puppy who bites you as a result of being a bit exceedingly excited. Its interesting that the partners of dog fanatics are a mix of men and women. Socialization: Has your dog appropriately socialized? I HATE the way he treats my poor dog. I just wish hed either help or give her to his mom. And you know what? But, gradually, in no time, your dog will, On a beautiful sunny morning, you and your pooch go for a walk outside your house. I cant remember a time I havent had a pet before my last dog of 13 years passed. I also have the same issue with my cat! She heels sits stays lies down, dances and more on command. To give you how much worse it did become for me. He cuddles with Fido on the couch every night, while Im on a separate chair. This has helped me understand the situation. I said absolutely no dogs in the bedroom or bathroom. And yes my partner is obsessed with his dog, what he eats, he cant havw treats, B12 and other injections have to be given to him, other medications, etc. I have two dogs when I met my boyfriend (now husband). My husband knew I loved animals and before now he was OK with it. That holds memories of me raising OUR child. She had my picture on her phone and removed it to have the dog on there. If the dog is just still a puppy, forgiveness can be given. He walks the dog, feeds him, plays with him, buys him toys, and so on. My family and I just recently got a dog. My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. Its about him and him not respecting you nor the relationship and putting the dogs wants ahead of you. They were part of my family. Im glad Im not the only one who feels this way about a dog. A neighbor has a Great Pyrenees and I absolutely love that dog to death, but to this day, I actually feel anxiety when I see a yellow Labrador retriever because the type of color and breed remind me of the pain and suffering I endured while the dog had been alive. She just knows my girlfriend will spaz on her too if she admits it. Now he wasnt allowed on the bedeven if he was laying right beside me away from my husbands side. Thats when I moved into the 2nd bedroom. Not to mention any future relationships! A human relationship is more important because it requires another person to make you stretch and grow in ways that you couldnt on your own. Covered in fur and dirt and I think thats so low to allow that and let this shit undermine me that way. We do sleep in the same bed, but when she came, she began sleeping in the room with us. Her mother and sister were both telling me it was my responsibility to take care of the dog as I was the only one there with it. If there is an issue, necessary actions will be taken. She tells me I am the one with issues if a dog being in the house is causing mental distress. Bb, you sound like me and my wife. I cried the entire time when I signed the dogs over. You may find that one of you is simply less in love with your pets than the other. What other demands are you going to make of him? I live my dog and I live my husband. My bf humanizes his goldendoodle and does not set any boundaries for him. I am so bothered by the mess this dog has caused and it makes me feel like well never have a nice clean home! If you wanna know about them in detail, please read to the end. He is confined to his bed and his yard and it makes me sick. After all she is one. then why cant SHE take the cat, if its hers? I feel like we cant plan our future together as long as the dog does not change his behaviour ! Not to mention, leaving their dirty paws, feces, and drool on the couch. Sadly I assume another dog.. Even when we can, were on a time limit because they dont want to head off to bed and have her dog on their bed with him, so she cant keep him there past midnight. Husband finds this cute. Not to my boyfriend. As an older woman, I fell head over heels in love with a man that I didnt know very well and every time we were together he put his female Labrador elsewhere. We now have a 2 month old baby and as you could figure, I am extremely busy with him. She hardly barks and does not defecate or urinate in the home. My dog has invertebral disc disease and hes had episodes in the past but only after jumping off of furniture, not just from being picked up. Our relationship is wonderful, all except for disagreements on things I love. If your dog likes someone, they are usually good. Id like to post a general question to the audience concerning the health of dogs and their owners. He wants her on the couch all the time even though she is always peeing on herself and dirty. I find I get up in the morning and I am happy. She does not listen very much at all. Undoubtedly there will be some sensible advice here, but to be honest, so many of you just sound completely bonkers! I was a woman, just remarried, deeply hurt by my husband whom treated his female Labrador with more value, more affection, more it seemed, everything than he did his new bride. Its also not my concern thank god. I like dogs, or liked them. I said i don t want the dog on the bed and furniture. (Sigh) Were trying to find solutions in the meantime. And having a dog sleep in a bed is one of the worst offenses of lazy pet owners IMO, it is just asking for trouble! Eventually I get the, OK, lets talk about something else now, or, this is upsetting me; I really dont wanna talk about this. So once that happens there isnt much I can say or do. I refuse to sleep in the bed. It will only get worse as time goes on and he neglects/takes you for granted. No. I dont see this with her and her dog. She has made me want to live again and taught me loving kindness. I absolutely do. They must be let outside, fed, played with and walked. My world fell apart, I even wrote a childrens book about him to try and cope with my grief. The Japanese Chin has bitten nine other people that include young children and adults and most of those bites have broken the skin. If the mouth sores are actually, oh, acne sores (sometimes acne around the mouth is painful, ugly, and very hard to treat), thats a bacteria == but same thing, any spread of acne bacteria should be fairly rapid. Shed also sniff crotches. Second, take your dog to a training class and invite your boyfriend to come along. The 1st year she had just a few mishaps on the floor but it has grown out of control. And Im sure no one cannot do that because its difficult to adjust to a lifestyle. And she sheds alot! The dog is very friendly. I train, strictly, on one commanded at a time, and while the other things are happening I just say no, and take it away. If you want to be with him youll have to compromise and so will he with regular baths, air fresheners, daily vacuum sessions even though it seems pointless, and boundaries until the dog is passes on. He goes back to the other house he would love them. It is okay for your nasty thing to disturb ME and the NEIGHBORHOOD. As for your other issue, this is something that will require a serious heart-to-heart with your boyfriend. Fast forward to 6 months after living together. Made him think about the entirety of this situation as well. since I left my partner my dog is so much more relaxed and only now I realise the reason why his own dog was an absolute nervous wreck, he said it was due to her being an ill treated rescue dog but actually now I believe she was warning me of something very dangerous considering what I know now about that man. has involved marriage, a dog can not provide what her husband does. You and your partner dont have to agree about everything. As time goes on I thought I may get used to it as I force myself to accept things. They are very, very good dogs. Consult a veterinarian: Sometimes, this issue may occur due to both physical and phycological issues. As I told her, a dog does not have the capacity to hold space with a human in the same manner of a fellow human being; when my friend has issues in her life, her dog cannot provide feedback and advice on how to navigate through the problem, however, her husband can; her dog does not provide a roof over her head, food, clothing, and everything else that adorns her life of privilege, yet her husband does. I went into this marriage never having heard the term dog codependence. We wanted to provide links to some resources that may be relevant to you here. Done! One study found that the average dog causes 2,000 arguments in his or her lifetime. I am very understanding about the dog but if we are moving in their is no more peeing and pooping or sleeping on the bed or acting out. If you are bothered by his soiling and smell be sure to let your partner know. Her mother left yesterday and guess whats still in my home. Only made me better. We realized that the dog does NOT get along with other dogs. I have 2 kids 6 & 3 Im feeling like Mulan (the puppy) is another kid. My dogs are well-behaved and calm. The dog is old and likely wont live another year. The dog might end up dead if it is given away . Yes I do. I know I must sound like a nag sometimes but communication is key. My bf could not bear to have Fido sleep on the floor, so now I have my own separate bedroom on the other side of the house. I think in Mistys case all she can fairly expect is for her partner to groom his dog more so that the fur is as little a discomfort or annoyance as possible. I now have one foot out the door unless he is willing to accept my compromise or come up with some equally durable plan. She was removed. Could her dogs be spreading bacteria or viruses to my wife? Read this article in order to educate yourself on how to stop a Doberman from barking. He doesnt even have that in him but expects his dogs good qualities to be in me. If one makes it a human and the other as a pet animal it will never work. I guess my partner does not feel the same way. The chewing and pottying and getting in the kitchen table pisses me off. Its not even the dogs fault, this is a situation that my boyfriend has created over the years, long before I was in the picture. I feel they are the ugliest breed as well as they drool, nasty! I am a light sleeper and cannot sleep with snoring (she is a pug and snores quite loud), not to mention Ive never liked having a dog sleep in my room. I even reminded him that he previously told me he didnt have a problem with that, but he still says I am wrong. He tolerated both cats at best, he would attend to their basic needs if I was away, but showed neither any love nor affection. We cant go anywhere do anything that is not about dog. Is someone simply lies in order to keep your mind open to that relationship then that is completely selfish and disrespectful from the get-go, and I would find myself questioning their honesty with me generally. We are expecting our first child in a matter of days to weeks and I dont want to have to be running around worrying about what his dog is getting into now. Hi Logan, I am living the same situation with my bf. They dont know any better. She has a dog (little fur ball) that she has slept with literally cradled in her arms every night for the past 5 years. I am an animal lover of all kinds. A poster above said humans are not naturally monogamous. He is low key and causes no trouble in the relationship. All I can say to all of you who are going through this is to trust your judgement and instincts. This is why women ends up lonely with a dog for the rest of the life. i hate being home just because i dont want to be around her. His dog sheds a full coat of hair every DAMN DAY. So true! It should be very simple You are RESPONSIBLE for your dog, from the moment you take him home until the day he or she passes. If sleep deprivation was the worst of it, I could live with that but as many people have mentioned in their cases, there is always drool around the house and hair everywhere and I mean at the end of the week you could fill a small garbage bag. She sheds 24/7 and no this is not an exaggeration. If it bites on your kids, guests, and other people, this is a reason why does your husband/boyfriend wants to rehome the dog. Just changed some psychology in my way of thinking and its not that important. But hey thats my fault, bs gag. I dont get it, and even if he is spending time with me the dog just stands there and cries staring at him, so he always gets up and goes to he dog, leaving me. her reasoning? His pee smells horrible and I recently learned that the smell of wolf urine is so strong that people buy it off the internet to ward off raccoons and possums. Petsitting misbehaving dogs who may miss their humans is not the wisest plan of action either. The dog barks heavily so much Day and night without change. Growing up any dogs I lived with were taught rules from the jump. I limit the amount of time that I see one of my dear friends because I leave her home covered in animal fur. Its hard to throw a marriage away because of this, only you will know whats best for you. Then again its how you treat the dog, the dog learns from its owner. When youre old, your spouse will be there by your side taking care of you. Thats when my hell began. , i thought that if 2 people really truelly love eachother they do whatever they need to to be together right?..i just dont know what to do, i told him also that people have mentioned well why dont you just get rid of your beagles for a good life , i said why should i give mine up if he doesnt have too?i dont think so! Because he does put the family and its safety first. My other two cats are female and get along almost all the time but have a fight once in a while that I have to break up and I get scratched. The dog is all over the couch, and heaven for bit I leave anything on the couch that might stop the dog from getting on their at night to sleep; which the dog as an orthopedic bed that he bought him. She would agree to the boundaries and just like your boyfriend, would be upset and sad that shes punishing the dog by following what she promised to do? Pulls stuff off of counters, poops, pees, tears up the carpet has eaten door jams, broke through doors etc. I was fooled into thinking that my boyfriend could have become more into pets in the aftermath of something he deems traumatic to himself. Im very attached to him. Like I said, I love animals. Thank you. Their minds arent wired that way! Jennifer: He said, very firmly, youre not getting a dog so I asked him again why not. Youve already closed your mind before you started. She flaps her ears all the time and wakes me up at night. I know Id never get a dog now even if he said I could, because I know hed hate it. Then I knew another little personality would enter my life to train, love, and cherish while they were with me. Although I never had any dogs, I was open to the idea to maybe someday have a small dog. I want the dog trained to be all right to be outside for longer periods of time in anticipation of trying to manage twins as they develop and also need floor space. He wouldnt give me ANY attention. Anyhow, we moved to a house where I agreed to keep my dog in his own section of the house in the kitchen/laundry room so if he were to have an accident, which infuriates my husband, then it wouldnt be hard to clean up. Take a deep breath and invest in training if the dog is being destructive. Some dogs tend to shed terribly with shedding skin in gross amounts. That so many people out there are prioritizing the needs/wants of their DOG over a real-live human? I spent a number of years working in mental health and have gotten feedback from old colleagues, I guess Im really just looking for some anonymous feedback on the situation. I even went for counseling to help me better understand this man, trying not to take baggage with me. Live my life wanting to keep him happy? How about helping him with the dog? But he would rub the dogs back abd love on her back before he evens thinks of me. It has been very sad at times when I miss my gf. I read about training and raw food and Chihuahuas themselves. Jrs r waaaay too unpredictable around children. Any advice is highly appreciated! Spoiled animal who is neither trained nor socialized. He was even nice to my cat and the cat loved being on his lap. (Hunting in their breeding and we cannot predict what a jr will do at all times in a human created abnormal (for them) environment. He says he loves dogs but only the ones who listen. His dogs are so spoiled, I feel like they come first. Hire a dog trainer: If your husband/boyfriend is about to get rid of the dog, first you need to chat with him and get another month of time to correct the behavior. So then I bought baby gates and pads to block off a big area and she could use the pads. You would have to question anyone that gives an ultimatum regarding your dogs. This is the biggest load of BS. she tried to run out of the house again and when I grabbed her she tried to bite me and that made me so angry that I threw her back into the house. One time he was reflecting. I ended up caring for Pheobe for 8 years before she died. I am sad to say that these differences are ending my marriage but at the same time, I will be glad to say good riddance to someone who is so shallow that they let dog hair on the couch upset them. I had gotten to the point I use to say, if the two of us were drowning, who would my spouse save? We recently found out I have antibodies in my blood that could be harmful to me and the baby, so I felt overwhelmed with stress. I was never happier to get an animal off my back. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. He wrote me a text saying that he wants a divorce. I am a person that loves animals (yes, dogs too), but I prefer cats. I have always generally preferred animals to people, and I made all of this clear to my husband before we got married. 2 months later my husband decides he wants another cat. Ive put tarp down in the room as he previously went poop on the floor there. But its never too late to get up on your feet, face the reality, and march forward. So furious! She is your typical this is my fur child its like taking care of a baby. My husband tried and got s ratch pretty bad so he kicked them. Ummm. My fianc says he is not going to live another year and that was 3 years ago. Without hurting your feelings she doesnt sound like your soulmate. we moved in together after we got married and the cat came too. BK you guys have the absolute correct vision of how things should be with a pet. Im sure this isnt the answer you want to hear but its the answer you already know: its time to move on. Dear, reading your post made me so sad. ive been forced to sleep in the spare room a lot of nights because she moves about constantly and snores and keeps me up the whole night. I have asked many times if we could transition him to the crate or his own bed at night but I always have gotten the statement of people dont get frenchies to put them in a crate, they get them to baby. Even babies need some boundaries and rules! We have to take my car everywhere because his is so full of hair. How many points will I take away? So then suddenly I ruin her whole vacation with her sister and mother because she didnt find someone to take care of HER pet. Pet lovers are really just nasty softcore beastiality enthusiasts. His dog is so naughty and bratty its driving me insane. My husband has a loud voice and a tone where it seems he is always yelling when he really isnt. I get answers like oh but its like a child. My partner has two dogs and as much as they are cute I can not stand them for me everyday is a struggle, I cant stand the smell (dogs have this natural odor I hate), I cant stand the begging the dog hairs everywhere, the constant attention seeking. I dont want to come home to a house that is pissed and pooped and smells worse like a dog shelther and where I will have to be responsible for cleaning. I want it to work. Allowing your dog to do human things is failing that animal in my opinion. She never did that again but would keep forgetting to close the door during the day and the dogs would end up in the bed making it unsanitary! And he was totally inflexible by saying that he wouldnt give up sleeping with his precious Mesa for anything. But apparently it was my fault because she walked in front of me while I was looking Ina store window. My frustration with my spouse is that he travels frequently and works long hours so he hardly spends time with the dog. It wasnt until about a year into our relationship that I started disliking this dog. To the guy with the Puppy Pitt whos wife cages the puppy. And I can reach out and pet them or even snuggle them and still be in a dog-free bed with my boyfriend. If you both can agree on certain things which your husky is allowed to do, youll both have to find the happy medium with what his beloved min pin can and cannot do. And we have now been fighting constantly for a month now just about Bobbi! She stained the carpets so bad that Im embarrassed to have company over. Its good that there are normal dog owners like you. If you can't value your boyfriend's relationship with his dog, and the responsibility that he's taken on by having a dog in the first place, you need to take a good, hard look in the mirror. He isnt even searching for a home for them so I guess Ill have to. WHAT IN THE WORLD DOES THAT MEAN! Devoted animal lovers sometimes say their pets are like childrenand like children, a furry best friend can cause plenty of strife in a relationship. I tried talking to her and proposed putting my two dogs outside and not letting them inside but she said no without hesitating. Last nite she made the comment to a friend who was here that it was my life and thats how I choose to live it and she cant do anything about it,. (No exaggeration. I like his presence there with me so it works. Ive always had cats growing up, and honestly dogs do not mesh with my personality very well. New life. I love animals and I feel bad about my resentment towards my husbands dogs. I can not understand a human being, your husband, not having any sympathy or understanding for an animal in pain. How is this allowed to happen? Shes sometimes peeing in the bed or pooping on the floor even tho she was outside but I always told myself her behavior is like that because of her negative past. Maybe it would be easier to see our side of people as well than just bash us and tell us to take the high road. What should I do? Anyway, I now smoke cigarettes because Im so stressed and didnt before. So I will have to move out. Eventually I was allowed in the bed, but OMG. If we want to develop a strong relationship with another human, then we must be willing to invest the time and effort that it will take. Your partner couldve lied and tolerated the dog at the beginning because she liked you, and now that things got serious after moving in, she just cant stand him, and you guys are already into each other. Im slowly retraining my boyfriend and his dog. It stresses me out so much and I feel so much resentment and bitterness that my feelings arent taken into consideration. Because these people work at doggy daycare are specialist in correcting odd behaviors in canines. I was irritated and so was he. My SO has a dog. You dont have to hate animals to hate your significant others pet. The thing is, i told her hes ok at the foot of the bed, i dont mind him on the bed if hes there and i had been telling her for 3 months to start training him but she jokingly would refuse to do so. I want to say THANK YOU for all the animals youve dedicated your hard work, money, time and everything else that comes with doing rescue work. Im literally in a silent argument about it right now! Her dog, physically, is unique and lovable. Sometimes.its not the pet. About Bobbi his presence there with me vacation with her and proposed putting my two dogs I. Characteristics and treat them like an animal in pain I don t want the dog barks heavily much... 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